Making Restitution
When we hurt someone, we know immediately that we have placed an emotional barrier between us and that person. The relationship is now fractured. Time alone will not heal the hurt. It’s time to...
View ArticleActions that Demonstrate an Apology
If you have been hurt deeply by your spouse or a close friend, you have probably asked this question: “How could they do that if they really loved me?” So, they come to apologize and say, “I’m sorry, I...
View ArticleMaking Restitution
When Dr. Jennifer Thomas and I wrote the book: The Five Languages of Apology, we discovered that one of the strong languages of apology is Making Restitution. “What can I do to make this up to you?” If...
View ArticleMaking Restitution pt. 2
Have you ever apologized and felt like the other person simply was not accepting your apology? Perhaps you’re speaking the wrong apology language. Perhaps you are saying, “I’m sorry.” “I was wrong.”...
View ArticleLove Languages & Apology Languages
She was sitting in my office visibly upset. “I’m sick and tired of his apologies,” she said. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” “That’s all he ever says. That’s supposed to make everything all right....
View ArticleRelease the Person to God
If you have a tendency to hold anger inside and to withdraw from the person at whom you are angry, please listen. The apostle Paul instructed us to “get rid of anger.” Jesus said, “don’t let the sun...
View ArticleHealthy Patterns of Communication
Communication is not enough. It must be healthy communication. There are many unhealthy patterns of communication, but none as deadly as “The Blamer.” “It’s your fault.” “If it weren’t for you...
View ArticleQ&A: My Wife Never Apologizes
Q: My wife never apologizes, how can I help her with this? Gary: We are to forgive others as God forgives us. So how does God forgive us? The scriptures say, “If we confess our sins, God is faithful...
View ArticleDo You Know how to Apologize?
Do you know how to apologize? Chances are you do what your parents taught you, but that may not be enough. Dr. Jennifer Thomas and I discovered that people have different ideas on what it means to...
View ArticleSelfishness is the Problem
Do you have a conflict that you have not been able to solve in your marriage? May I make a suggestion? Why not write out all the possible solutions that you can think of. Ask your spouse to do the...
View ArticleThe Art of Apologizing
Though the word apology, as we know it, does not exist in the New Testament, an absence of the specific word does not indicate an absence of the concept. Scripture provides lessons for how to do this...
View ArticleQ&A: Is There Hope for a Divorced Couple?
Q: Gary, I am recently divorced and have just discovered the 5LL. I haven’t been speaking his. We are still in touch. Can I still save something of our marriage? Gary: You know I have many people who...
View ArticleQ&A: Should I Apologize to Those from Past Relationships?
Q: Gary, I will be getting married soon and I want to have a clean conscience. Should I apologize to those whom I might have hurt in previous relationships? Gary: I think a good basic pattern is that...
View ArticleSexual Healing
One of the realities in contemporary society is that many couples come to marriage with previous sexual experience, either with each other, or with other partners. The commonly held idea is that sexual...
View ArticleIdentifying Past Failures
Most of us will admit that we are not perfect. From time to time we say and do things that are not loving, kind, or helpful. In a marriage these failures build into walls of separation. If you would...
View ArticleBecoming the Person Your Spouse Deserves
You don’t have to be perfect to have a good marriage. But, you do need to deal effectively with your failures. Otherwise they sit as barriers to a growing marriage. How do you get rid of past failures?...
View ArticleForgiveness is Always the Christian Response
So, your spouse has failed you. But now, they have confessed their wrong and are seeking to change their behavior. What are you to do? In the Scriptures, forgiveness is always the Christian response to...
View Article
